Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
