Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
