If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
I want a musical about memes.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
