no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Randomize
