they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Randomize
