you guys were way drunker than both of me
I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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