I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Randomize
