i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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