I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Randomize
