pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
Randomize
