People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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