It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
Randomize
