U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
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