i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
Walk of Shame today included voting.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
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