Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
Randomize
