If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
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