dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize