Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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