I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
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