Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
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