what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
Bridesmaid dress fitting. I look like a Weeble and Michelle looks like Malibu Barbie. I have to keep reminding myself that she has herpes so really, the playing field is more level than it might initially seem.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Randomize
