people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
