you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
