Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
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