OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize
