i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Randomize
