it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Randomize
