Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Randomize
