Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
Randomize
