She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
