Screwed.edu
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
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