What a fucking waste of an outfit
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
Randomize
