The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
Floor bacon is actually really good
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
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