i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
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