...so i touched it.
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
