i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
Randomize