Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
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