Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Randomize
