yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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