I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
God I need to hump something, right now.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
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