I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
