She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
