found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
i just google imaged poop.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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