You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
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