You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
