The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
Randomize
