she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
