I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Randomize
