xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
we made out on top of his cat.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize
