My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Randomize
