I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
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