yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Randomize
