I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Randomize
