do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
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