I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
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