Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
