I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
