I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize
