just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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