the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
