I wish I only lived at night.
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
Randomize
