have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize
