i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize
