I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
Randomize
